Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
