in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
