Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm like, not good at living.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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