He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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