listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
