Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
