could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
