erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
