This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
