im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
