Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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