I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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