conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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