I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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