She is in my trunk
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
A bitchslap is in order.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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