If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
