so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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