Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
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I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
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I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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