there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
