I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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