Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
