My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize