He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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