their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
