And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
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The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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