You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
this hospital has no fireball
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize