It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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