If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
