Cold hands, warm shart.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
