no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
