Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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