Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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