Acid is not a monday night drug
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
