who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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