The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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