just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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