Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
