idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
