She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize