you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
