Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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