Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
