Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
