my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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