Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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