I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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