I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
