Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize