I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
