new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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