either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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