need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
