Just fell off a train. Bad.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
we're so committed to being not committed
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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