I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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