I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
