I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
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she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
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Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up