I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
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You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover