what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
