i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize