so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
