He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
His nipple licking is glorious
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