I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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