And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
